Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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