Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
