she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
