some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
