I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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