She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
well you can't waste a boner
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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