It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This baby is an asshole
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
