You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
is that a dick in a sweater?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
