Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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