Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
