Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
