we made out on top of his cat.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
