Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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