There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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