she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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