I bet he comes in French.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
