One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
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You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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