what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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