Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
