he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize