i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
