And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
