The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
