it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
