It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
