Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
