So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
