Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
