I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
