So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think my moral compass just broke
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
