My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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