so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
