If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
