this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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