apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
