I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
