Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
