i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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