Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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