69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
