I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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