my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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