it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
