dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
