You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
