Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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