true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?