Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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