what if every blade of grass was a penis?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
