i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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