There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
