nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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