dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
