You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
