You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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