i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
