it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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