Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
