Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
