fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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