If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
