my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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