what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
